


That clearly was not what I imagined

by HashiHimee



Series: Soulmates' misadventures [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: A bit of swearing, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Feelings, Female Senju Hashirama, Fun, Happy, Happy Ending, Love, M/M, Naruto Founders Era, Shenanigans, Soulmates, great shinobi, grown ass ninja, mention of other characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:47:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23821051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HashiHimee/pseuds/HashiHimee
Summary: In which Tobirama is learning how to handle pretty much everything, Izuna is even more out of control, Hashirama is her cool self, most of the time at least, and Madara is so full of shit it’s not even funny. Oh, and there's a baby-ninja being adorable and cute and completely unaware.The sequel to “Thank you very much” in which Tobirama and Izuna are the unintentional somewhat-functional couple, sometimes and mostly for error, and Hashirama is handling her out-of-his-mind-and-control soulmate as best as she possibly can.The misadventures of four powerful shinobis who, really, have no idea of how they keep doing half of the stuff they have done.Shenanigans, craziness, helplessness and love all over the place, always in the wrong place, but they’re meant to be, again.
Relationships: Senju Hashirama/Uchiha Madara, Senju Tobirama/Uchiha Izuna
Series: Soulmates' misadventures [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1685539
Comments: 6
Kudos: 31





	That clearly was not what I imagined

**Author's Note:**

> Let’s get this straight.  
> I don’t know what’s going on but I keep going because that’s the right thing to do, or so I have been told.
> 
> Please enjoy and comment and let me know if even for a single moment you have smiled reading this silly story because that will make my day!
> 
> Thank you all for supporting this always chakra depleted author and reading her stories!
> 
> -Hh

It had taken a whole of one day and a half for Tobirama to fall completely and utterly in love with the baby currently drooling on in chest around the red pacifier.

He glanced down at the boy sleeping in his green baby carrier and placed his hand on his back.

The green baby carrier was awfully bright and clashed horribly with his blue uniform.

Tobirama had to go to the shop and get a new one.

But Tobirama was smitten. Totally smitten.

And he was strangely ok with the whole situation.

Five months.

Izuna had found him five months ago and his cute little shrimp was still so small! Tobirama couldn’t wrap his head around that detail. Sure, he had grown but still.

The boy made a small sound of distress and Tobirama immediately resumed his gentle rocking; his shrimp calmed down and settled once more.

Tobirama sighed silently; Izuna was better at these kind of stuff but once asleep it took very little for the baby to stay that way.

Luckily.

Tobirama was absolutely certain that his soulmate had some kind of sixth sense for baby stuff.

After the first two hours Izuna was already the perfect Papa.

Tobirama… well, he was still learning.

Tobirama glanced at the mountain of scrolls he was supposed to review and sighed silently, again.

With Izuna away on a mission everything seemed worse than it really was and caring for the adorable shrimp all by himself was taking his toll on Tobirama.

Luckily, his sister was there to save the day.

His nee-chan was always there to save the day.

Hashirama waltzed in the room silently, a swirl of hair and a small frown, and rubbing her belly.

Of course.

Five months of marriage and she was already five months into the first pregnancy.

Really, Tobirama should have expected something like that.

Hashirama closed the door behind her and slapped a seal on the frame.

Tobirama raised one eyebrow.

“You need to help me.”

Ah.

His nee-chan was not there to save the day.

Tobirama sighed loudly this time.

-

Izuna grinned walking through the gates.

He waved at the two chunins on gates’ duty and made his way towards his apartment.

He was finally home after four days!

Izuna couldn’t wait to see his soulmate and their cute baby boy!

Oh, how much had he missed them?

How much?!

Their cute twins little scowls when he woke them in the morning were simply adorable!

If Izuna hadn’t known any better he would have thought that his adorable little frog was really Tobirama’s son.

Oh, and that delighted little gurgle sound he always made when it was time to be fed!

A-do-ra-ble!

Izuna really couldn’t stress more how much in love he was with the both of them.

He was nearing the Uchiha compound, daydreaming about his family, when he literally run into his big brother.

Madara grabbed his shoulders and whispered, not panicked because he was Madara Uchiha and Madara Uchiha didn’t do panicked, but clearly upset “Izuna, I lost her.”

What?

Izuna, really, wasn’t impressed with his nii-san.

-

Hashirama was laying on the sofa in her baby brother’s living room, little Jiraiya-chan asleep on her chest, one of Tobirama’s clones working on the scrolls on the coffee table, the other in the kitchen preparing the bottle and the real Tobirama working on the house wards to keep. Madara. Outside.

Hashirama loved him. She really did.

She had loved Madara since she was fifteen so, really, she did love him.

But.

She had had enough.

She deserved some peace.

She wasn’t even asking for much.

Just a day, a single day, without Madara’s nutritious smoothies.

That wasn’t much.

Besides, the smoothies were horrible.

And Madara made her several smoothies per day.

For her and for the baby to stay healthy.

Hashirama was healthy.

She had always been healthy.

Not even once a simple flu, for the love of Kami!

She didn’t deserve the. Awful. Smoothies!

Hashirama had not signed up for something like this.

Little Jiraiya-chan kicked his little chubby arms and legs and Hashirama smiled and petted his back.

The baby bubbled happily and her baby brother’s clone gave her the bottle before going back in the kitchen and popping out of existence.

“Hello my cute puppy. You’re hungry, aren’t you?” Upon hearing her coos the baby wriggled some and bubbled louder and Hashirama sat up straighter before feeding him.

“All done. Nee-chan, you have to tell him. He’ll got a stroke if you keep disappearing. Or destroy the village looking for you.”

Hashirama simply stared at her nephew, dressed in a cute brown dog onesies, sucking greedily on his bottle; she smiled and the baby smiled wobbling back at her around the bottle’s nipple.

Hashirama sighed.

Her baby brother was right.

Someone knocked on the door and Hashirama sighed again.

-

“Rama?! Why can’t I come inside my own house?”

“I’m sorry, honey, really I am. But this is a Senju-only place for now? I’m sorry, I think I overdid the seal.”

“What?!”

Madara tuned out his little brother’s incredulous voice and the jerk’s answers and focused on his soulmate standing in the living room.

Oh thank Kami, Hashirama was there safe and sound!

She was there feeding the still-too-small-baby-nin and he couldn’t reach her.

“Madara.”

Madara nodded.

“I will not come out until you understand that I don’t want to even see another smoothie ever again.”

Madara nodded again.

Then frowned.

What was Hashirama saying?

She didn’t want the smoothies?

The smoothies were perfect for pregnant kunoichi and their baby-nin-to-be!

“What.”

“Madara. If you ever give me another smoothie, you’ll have to find another place where to sleep. Ok?”

Ok!

Madara would never make another smoothie in his life, never again!

No problem!

Madara nodded and asked slowly “But what about the one I just brought you? It’s banana flavored, it’s good for the baby-murderer.”

Madara watched Hashirama’s eyes burn with barely contained all-destroying fury and then she whispered furiously “Goodbye Madara. I’ll see you tomorrow. Maybe. Without smoothies!”

And then the jerk closed the door.

Right in his face.

Madara turned to his little brother.

Izuna pinched the bridge of his nose and muttered “Madara Uchiha my perfect ass.”

-

It was obvious that Tobirama wasn’t sleeping while standing in front of the mirror with the toothbrush still in his mouth.

Obviously he was trying to understand what he had to do in order to let his soulmate, and father of their son, inside their home.

He was trying to understand how to fix the wards.

Clearly not sleeping.

A sound coming from the kitchen had Tobirama jerking, not awake because, again, he wasn’t sleeping, and if not for his ninja training Tobirama would have stabbed himself with his own toothbrush.

His nee-chan had spent the night, again.

And he had been the one who had woken up every single time his little shrimp so much as stirred between them.

Again.

Oh, his adorable little shrimp had his own crib but letting him sleep in his bed with them was so much easier.

And his nee-chan was five months pregnant and she deserved to rest.

And they hadn’t slept together since before Konoha was founded and Tobirama had been feeling nostalgic these past few nights, ok?!

Tobirama was feeling a bit hysterical.

But no big deal because he was a ninja, a powerful shinobi, and he could handle pretty much everything.

And Tobirama wasn’t sleep deprived, obviously, but something was burning in his kitchen because Hashirama couldn’t cook to save her life, dammit!

Tobirama stumbled in the kitchen and stared uncomprehending at his own clone, who had burned the breakfast, and was currently opening the window to let the smoke outside.

When had he formed the clone, anyways?

Tobirama sighed dejected and run a hand down his face.

When Hashirama walked in the kitchen smiling, Tobirama stared at her with pleading eyes.

His nee-chan’s smile grew brighter, she gave him his son, who was already waking up of course, that little shit, kissed his forehead and steer him towards one of the chairs.

Tobirama sat obediently and then explained one step at the time to his sister how to make some, hopefully edible, breakfast.

Tobirama hadn’t had a moment to rest in far too long.

-

Izuna padded into his big brother’s kitchen, took in the room and turned back towards the bedroom.

After ten minutes and a couple of hand signs to dispel any form of genjutsu he went back.

The situation was the same as before so clearly it wasn’t a genjutsu.

“Nii-san.”

His big brother didn’t react.

“You need to stop doing whatever it is that you’re doing.”

His big brother didn’t even turn to acknowledge him.

Madara kept cooking.

Every single horizontal surface in the kitchen, and apparently in the living room if the smell was anything to go by, was filled with perfectly cooked meals for pregnant kunoichi.

Izuna threw a kunai at his big brother’s head.

Madara simply moved his head and the kunai embedded in the cupboard over the stove.

“You’ll never see her ever again if you don’t stop right now!”

Madara turned around and glared.

Izuna stormed out of the house slamming the front door and headed to the Hokage tower.

Izuna was fuming.

-

Tobirama was drooling on the pillow of her sofa in the Hokage office.

Her baby brother was still her baby brother after all.

Hashirama smiled softly.

She rocked little Jiraiya-chan back and forth and caught the stuffed yellow duckie before it hit the floor.

Izuna landed on the windowsill and Hashirama signed for him to stay quiet then she pointed at the sleeping form of her baby brother.

Jiraiya-chan bubbled happily and Hashirama gave the baby to his Papa.

Izuna whispered furiously while cuddling the baby to his chest “You have to take him back! Or I need to be able to go back to my home! Tobirama can sleep on the sofa and we can take the bed.”

Hashirama sighed and whispered back “What has he done?”

“He keeps cooking, Hashirama!”

Izuna’s eyes were hunted and murderous at the same time.

“Your kitchen is filled to the brim with balanced meals! He could feed the whole of the Akimichi clan with how much he had cooked!”

Hashirama nodded saying “I’m sorry. He doesn’t listen! I’m trying to explain this to him since the second month. Has he been cooking since you came back? Tobirama still can’t fix the wards by the way.”

“It’s been six days Hashirama, you have to find a solution! C’mon, we’re going out for breakfast. I’m hungry.”

Izuna stalked silently towards the door and Hashirama followed him.

Breakfast sounded good after her morning attempt.

Her failed morning attempt.

Her umpteenth failed morning attempt.

Hashirama didn’t sigh only because she was the Hokage and the Hokage didn’t sigh over failed breakfast attempts.

But she was this close to sigh.

She really was a terrible cook.

-

Madara wasn’t spying on his own soulmate.

And he wasn’t gathering information.

He was practicing his espionage skills, obviously.

It was will of Kami that his assigned target was his own pregnant wife.

He had to survey her.

No one could be trusted.

Clearly no one could be trusted!

Because Hashirama was eating something clearly unhealthy for the baby-hellspawn still in her belly!

Why did nobody understand?

Madara bit his thumb and summoned one of his falcons.

“Steal whatever it is she’s eating and leaves this instead.”

Madara waited, watching from a distance, until the twins enraged roars of “Madara!” and “Nii-san!” could be heard along the delighted, extremely loud, giggles of the baby-nin in his little brother’s lap.

Then he went back to his home.

Hashirama knew he was watching her, anyways.

Madara smirked satisfied.

Mission completed.

-

Tobirama needed to find a solution.

Sleeping on the sofa in his own home was not an option anymore.

Tobirama had had enough.

The solution came in the form of a two weeks long mission near the border of the Land of Snow.

Oh, sweet Kami, thank you!

Tobirama laughed hysterically rolling back the scroll then tracked down Madara.

He wasn’t even trying to conceal his evilly satisfied grin.

Tobirama couldn’t wait to finally sleep in his own bed, with his soulmate and his little shrimp again.

Tobirama just felt so powerful.

-

Izuna stared.

And a bright grin was literally splitting his face.

Izuna stared harder.

His soulmate was drooling on his pillow, sheets and limbs all tangled together.

Izuna hugged himself in order to contain the coos that were threatening to slip past his lips.

Tobirama snored softly.

Oh!

That cute soft sound!

How cute was his soulmate?

How fucking cute?!

Izuna joined him under the sheets and whispered “Rama, where’s the little frog?”

Tobirama mumbled sleepily “Nee-chan’s…” and wormed his arm around his waist before nuzzling in the crock of his neck.

Izuna grinned some more, kissed his soulmate’s temple and settled for a nap.

How. Fucking. Cute. Was. Tobirama?!

-

Hashirama opened the front door of her home, padded to the living room, leave the sleeping little Jiraiya-chan on the sofa then headed to the kitchen.

She turned the lights on.

And stared.

Hashirama run a hand down her face, resigned.

She was a great shinobi.

She could handle this.

She was the Hokage after all.

Hashirama started stocking all the meals her soulmate had cooked in various containers.

One hour later she was only halfway through and her freezer and fridge were full to the point of explosion.

She was the Hokage, dammit, and a couple of meals would not defeat her.

Hashirama rolled her sleeves to her elbows.

She took out all the sealing scrolls she had in the house and all the container she had already stocked away.

When little Jiraiya-chan woke up some time later Hashirama had every meals sealed away in the proper labeled scroll and all the scrolls stacked neatly in the fridge.

On the first row the green scrolls of breakfasts.

Below the red ones of lunches.

Then the blue ones of dinners.

Lastly a small pile of pink scrolls labeled desserts.

On the counter, in a proper scrolls holder, there were the orange scrolls full of snacks.

The fridge wasn’t the proper place for sealing scrolls but they contained an abnormal amount of food and Hashirama could not think of a better place and, truthfully, who cared?

It was her fridge.

And her food, dammit!

She had not signed up for this.

She was not paid enough for this.

From his position in her arms little Jiraiya-chan bubbled excitedly and waved his arms.

Hashirama smiled and cooed “Now that we have some space, what about a bottle?”

Her nephew caught a strand of her hair and sucked on it greedily, absolutely unaware of the mess that was his family.

Hashirama sighed around a smile.

-

The Land of Snow was fucking snowy.

And freezing.

Madara grumbled under his breath.

Then buried his nose deeper in the red wool scarf Hashirama had packed for him.

Another week and he would be back.

Who knew if Hashirama was eating the meals for pregnant kunoichi he had cooked.

She better was eating them because the baby-murderer had to be healthy!

A whisper of freezing wind found its way in the cave he was bunking in and Madara grumbled louder.

Fucking freezing Land of fucking freezing Snow and its fucking freezing weather.

-

Tobirama blinked.

Then tried to dispel the genjutsu.

With the Uchihas involved one could never be too sure.

His living room was still full of cats.

Izuna really needed to stop feeding all the strays in Konoha.

Tobirama sighed under his breath.

His little shrimp was crawling in the sea of colorful and fluffy coat.

Among the strays were also Izuna’s summons, clearly the appointed babysitter who were not doing their job.

Tobirama sighed louder.

His little shrimp turned, crawled towards him and Tobirama bent to pick him up.

And then his shrimp stopped and squealed happily “Caa!”

Tobirama stared completely love-struck.

-

“I missed what?!”

Izuna was already sobbing.

He couldn’t believe something like this happened to him!

“It wasn’t exactly a word, honey. It was more like an intentional sort of sound? It was not a real word, honey, trust me.”

Izuna sobbed louder and hid his face into in hands.

How had something like this happened to him?!

His little frog’s first real sound!

And he had missed it!

He was an horrible Papa!

Izuna’s sobs became even more louder.

-

Hashirama watched with mixed emotions little Jiraiya-chan crawl towards Madara’s open arms in her office.

She had been saddled with babysitting but she was still the Hokage and needed to sign some paperwork.

Hashirama rubbed her temples.

She was so tired.

And Madara, Madara!, had volunteered to help her with the baby.

And Madara, Madara!, was doing a pretty good job in taking care of their nephew.

Madara was doing a good job.

Madara!

Hashirama was a bit confused.

Little Jiraiya-chan kept squeaking delighted “Caa!”, or “Da!” or “Faa!” or something along that line, every once and again and Hashirama was feeling an headache forming.

Madara scooped the baby in his arms and Jiraiya-chan squealed again “Caa!” and waved his arms in her direction.

Hashirama took him and the baby settled contently when she gave him his pacifier.

Madara took little Jiraiya-chan’s scroll, a purple small thing containing everything the boy would ever need, turned to her and declared “Lunch.”

Hashirama had just the time to tighten the grip on her nephew before Madara teleported the three of them to the lake.

Hashirama was really starting to hate the fact she couldn’t use her chakra.

Sometimes being pregnant was such a drag.

Hashirama was spending too much time with her Nara councilor.

They landed near the lake and Jiraiya-chan squeaked happily “Daa!”

The red pacifier fell to the ground.

Hashirama sighed.

-

Great shinobi practiced in the skills they lacked.

Since Madara was a great shinobi he was practicing in the skills he lacked.

That was what Madara was doing.

Practicing in his lacking father skills.

Using the baby-nin his little brother and the jerk called their son.

The baby-nin was just a pipsqueak, though.

Actually, this was a great plan. Very ingenious.

A very shinobi plan.

Madara felt like a genius.

The pipsqueak crawled around the blanket, emitting strange sounds and Madara watched.

And if he was using his sharingan no one needed to know.

Besides, Hashirama was snoring sprawled on the blanket so it wasn’t like someone could have known.

The baby-nin kept emitting that strange sounds.

What was the pipsqueak doing?

A stray cat neared the lake and the baby-nin squealed loudly “Caat!”

The stray run away.

Oh, the pipsqueak was trying to speak!

Madara touched Hashirama’s shoulder and she opened an eye.

Madara whispered “The baby-nin is speaking.”

Hashirama got up and the pipsqueak kept squealing “Caat. Caa! Caat!”

“Oh fuck, have you recorded that Madara?”

Madara nodded and the baby-nin yelped “Fac!”

Hashirama blanched and Madara kept recording everything with the sharingan.

Practicing with the pipsqueak really was a great plan.

Madara smirked.

-

Tobirama was… exhausted.

He needed a vacation.

Or possibly a retirement plan signed.

Who had thought that giving him a genin team, on top of his councilor position, his situations as a new father and his role as Izuna’s soulmate, was a good idea?

Genins were small little time-consuming things with no discipline and no idea of what personal space meant.

Being his sister’s councilor at the current time was a sure way to be led to T&I and, if not for the Nara councilor, Tobirama would surely be locked in one of the underground cell for attempt treason.

But he loved his nee-chan, not in that exact moment but he loved her.

His shrimp was a cute, small, always babbling bundle of love that kept giving him headaches and heart attacks and Tobirama was not sure what else he could handle.

But he really loved him deeply, too.

And Izuna was… his soulmate was something otherworldly and, for once, Tobirama didn’t want to talk about him, ok?!

But clearly Tobirama loved him more than ever even if he didn’t want to talk about him because he was a little angry with Izuna because why was Izuna the only one who still went on missions?!

That wasn’t fair, ok?!

That wasn’t fair at all!

Tobirama was still a ninja too, dammit!

And clearly Tobirama was not pouting.

The genin girl kept cooing over the sleeping form of his shrimp cuddled in the, finally blue, baby carrier over his back, one of the boys fell from the tree, the other started laughing and then promptly fell, too, and his little shrimp woke up with a distressed cry.

Tobirama sighed dejected.

He had not signed up to this.

-

Izuna stared at the mission scroll then at Hashirama, who was sitting behind her desk, then at his big brother.

Izuna looked at the scroll again.

He asked slowly “You want us to go on a ten days long mission in the Land of Rain? For intel gathering?”

Hashirama nodded and explained seriously “The sharingan is needed. A very important mission.”

Izuna stared at the scroll once more. More puzzled.

His nii-san grabbed his shoulder and then they were gone from the Hokage’s office.

Izuna was a bit confused.

-

Hashirama sealed in two scrolls everything they would need.

Then she tracked down her baby brother.

Tobirama was heading to the Hokage tower, little Jiraiya-chan babbling loudly and happily.

She waved and her baby brother approached.

“We’re leaving. Now. C’mon.”

She took his hand and started dragging him towards the gates.

“Nee-chan? Where are we going? And my shrimp?”

Hashirama kept walking.

“Nee-chan?”

Hashirama breathed deeply and slowly and answered “A week in an onsen in the Land of Hot Springs. Jiraiya-chan will come with us. We both need a vacation.”

Hashirama had never felt more powerful.

Her baby brother’s grateful smile was simply gold.

She couldn’t wait to finally relax far away from everything now that her soulmate and her baby brother’s soulmate were out of the village.

Giving them that mission had been the proof of her genius.

She was the Hokage for a reason, after all.

-

Great shinobi were always ready for everything.

Even when asleep.

Since Madara was a great shinobi he, too, was always ready for everything, even when asleep.

And that was why, when Hashirama shook his shoulder in the middle of the night, Madara jumped up, kunai already in hand and sharingan spinning, and demanded “What happened? Where’s the attacker?”

Hashirama stared at him like he was crazy.

She crocked her head to one side.

“I just want a smoothie, Madara.”

What?

“I want a kiwi-fruit, pear, chocolate smoothie.”

What?!

“And something crunchy, too.”

“What.”

“I’m hungry. And so is the baby. I want a kiwi-fruit, pear, chocolate smoothie and something crispy, like… bacon. Oh Kami! Yes, Madara, I want some bacon and fried chips and two smoothies.”

Madara wasn’t ready for something like this.

He wasn’t ready for something like this at all.

-

Tobirama wasn’t hiding from his soulmate.

He wasn’t hiding from his little shrimp.

He wasn’t hiding from his nee-chan and he had not dumped all the paperwork on the Nara councilor.

Obviously.

Tobirama was simply doing his own very ninja job, that was what he was doing.

And if he was trapped inside his own most powerful barrier it was because of the very dangerous and old scrolls he was studying not because he didn’t want to come out and leave his only place of peace.

And if he had a futon by his side and a small amount of his sister’s scrolls labeled ‘snacks’ and ‘lunches’ it was no one else business.

He was studying and doing what he was supposed to do: working on ninja seals.

Because he was still a ninja, dammit!

-

After a very productive day of training his soulmate’s genin team Izuna was ready to pick up his adorable little frog!

His nii-san was taking care of the baby and Izuna was just so happy to see how much his big brother had improved!

But mostly he missed his cute little frog!

Izuna entered his big brother’s house and his baby squeaked “Fac!”

Izuna turned to his nii-san, sharingan spinning and stated “I murder you.”

-

“What are you doing?”

“I read in a scroll that yoga does wonders when one’s pregnant.”

“You are not pregnant.”

“I know.”

“I’m the pregnant one.”

“I know.”

“I should be the one doing yoga, then.”

“I know.”

“What are you doing, then?”

“Yoga.”

“You’re out of your mind, Madara.”

“Yoga really does wonders. You should try. For the baby-murderer.”

“Make room.”

-

Madara wasn’t scared.

He was Madara Uchiha and Madara Uchiha didn’t do scared.

The little smiling puppies printed on the wall smiled at him.

Madara didn’t take a step back simply because he was a ninja, a great shinobi, and great shinobi didn’t take steps back.

The little smiling puppies printed on the wall kept smiling at him.

Madara focused on the iryo-nin currently applying some gel on Hashirama’s belly.

Hashirama smiled and signed for him to come closer.

Madara took half a step forward and Hashirama took his hand.

Madara stared at her until the room was filled with a rapid beating sound.

Madara fixed his sharingan on the grey screen in front of the iryo-nin.

Their baby-nin’s heartbeat.

Madara was already in love.

Then he glanced at Hashirama.

And right above her head was a smiling little lamb.

Madara leave a hole in the wall where the lamb once was.

The iryo-nin forbade him to set foot in the prenatal ward of the hospital again.

-

Tobirama stilled during their sparring match and Izuna punched him in the jaw.

Then Izuna stilled, too.

Tobirama turned towards his little shrimp, who was sneezing a few feet away, with wide eyes.

Their clones had dispersed themselves.

Their clones who were taking care of his little shrimp.

Tobirama recalled the memories the clone had gained.

His soulmate started sobbing and Tobirama reached for him on instinct.

-

“We missed him standing for the first time!”

Izuna sobbed louder against Tobirama’s chest.

He couldn’t believe something like this happened to him, again!

They had already missed their baby boy’s first real word!

His nii-san and his sister-in-law had witnessed that.

And not them!

But why did things like this keep happening to him?!

Izuna rubbed his runny nose in his soulmate’s uniform.

And he had missed his little frog’s first conscious sound, too!

His little frog had stand up for the first time!

And he had missed it!

He really was an horrible Papa!

Izuna’s sobs became even more louder and Tobirama hugged him tighter before picking up their son.

Izuna cradled him to his chest.

Tobirama teleported the three of them home and his cute little frog squealed delighted “Dad!”

Izuna wailed heartbroken.

-

Hashirama winced when a small foot delivered a kick right on her liver.

Then a small hand joined the party and Hashirama groaned.

She rubber her belly slowly and whispered “Are you kidding me? I just sit down.”

When the baby in her belly started to party harder Hashirama stood and started pacing around her office drawing circles on her back and muttering “You’re going to be the death of me, sweetie. Please let me rest for a bit.”

When the baby finally calmed down some Hashirama took the red yoga mat Madara had brought her.

She was in the middle of changing position when her baby brother entered the office.

Her baby brother raised one eyebrow and Hashirama simply kept going.

Unbothered.

Tobirama kept staring at her so she huffed “Join me. We can talk in the meanwhile because the baby is too excited and I can’t stay still.”

Tobirama joined her.

-

Madara landed on the windowsill of Hashirama’s office, glanced inside and promptly teleported in one of the furthest away training ground.

Yeah.

He would train to exhaustion and the picture of the jerk doing yoga would disappear from his mind.

Great plan, Madara.

Madara shivered.

-

Tobirama groaned when his shoulder popped again.

Yoga was clearly an evil thing created for the sole purpose of making you wish for death.

Tobirama glanced at his nee-chan, serenely staying in position, and groaned again.

Tobirama would never do yoga ever again.

-

Izuna opened Hashirama’s office’s door smiling to the little bundle of love in his arms.

Then he blinked.

His little frog babbled happily once he spotted his father and Izuna beamed.

Tobirama groaned, Hashirama smiled and Izuna let his little frog crawl freely in the room.

Izuna took a pink yoga mat and joined his soulmate and his sister-in-law smiling.

He loved yoga!

-

Hashirama woke up groaning and displeased when a little foot kicked her bladder.

Not this shit again!

The baby clearly had other plans.

Hashirama wandered through the house whispering to her giant belly and massaging her back.

The baby wasn’t calming down.

“Oh c’mon, sweetie. Another month and half and you’ll meet us both. Stop being so feisty. We can’t wait to meet you too. Yeah, we both, mum and dad.”

At the word dad the baby stopped struggling.

Hashirama sighed in relief and sat on the couch.

The baby kicked her again.

“Madara!”

Madara was in front of her the very next moment.

Hashirama sighed a tired “Talk to the baby.”

“What.”

“Just talk to the baby so I can rest a bit.”

Madara nodded and kneeled between her legs, started drawing circles on her skin and whispering to her belly.

Hashirama was finally able to relax.

-

It wasn’t like Madara had never talked to the baby-nin in his soulmate’s belly.

He simply had never thought that something like that was useful.

Apparently, he had thought wrong.

Madara felt the mini-nin calm down and Hashirama sag in the sofa so he kept whispering and caressing Hashirama’s sides and giant belly.

“You’ll be the deadliest shinobi out there, my little hellspawn. I’ll teach you how to throw shuriken and kunai, how to wield the Uchiha’s fan. You’ll awaken the sharingan and I’ll teach you all the tricks so that your enemy will cower in fear, my precious evildoer. Your enemy will cower in fear just by hearing your name, my dearest murderer.”

“Stop calling the baby that way.”

Madara blinked up at Hashirama.

Then resumed talking to the belly again completely dismissing his soulmate.

Hashirama had a really giant belly, though.

“Don’t worry, my little assassin-to-be. Mum and I will teach you all the jutsus we know and you’ll be so powerful and deadly. The most powerful shinobi in the world. Besides us, of course.”

“Even if it’s a girl?”

Madara blinked up at his soulmate again.

He whispered to the belly staring at Hashirama.

“You mom is the Hokage, my cute hellhound. She’s the most powerful shinobi in Konoha. She’s called the Goddess of the Shinobi and our enemy fear her name. She’s fearless in battle and beautiful. If you’re a girl, my little murderer, you’ll be beautiful and powerful and deadly just like her.”

Madara kissed the belly then and whispered again.

“If you’re a boy, you’ll be ruthless just like me. A force to be reckoned and you’ll destroy entire armies all by yourself, my little hellspawn.”

Hashirama laughed breathlessly and wiped away a stray tear and Madara recorded every single moment with his sharingan.

And if, when they eventually went to bed again with the baby finally still, Madara was truly smiling a real smile with his arms around Hashirama and their baby-nin-to-be, no one was the wiser.

At least until his soulmate whispered sleepily “I’ve always known you were just a big softie.”

Madara grunted and whispered back “You’re out of your mind, Senju.”

-

“No.”

Tobirama stared at his sister. Frowning.

Hashirama changed position on her red yoga mat.

His little shrimp tried to mimic her.

Tobirama frowned harder.

Hashirama smiled at the baby, and his adorable shrimp smiled back, that little shit, and then at him.

“I said no, nee-chan.”

His shrimp babbled away happily and Tobirama sighed defeated.

He reached for a green mat and joined his sister.

Tobirama wasn’t pouting.

-

Izuna watched amazed one of the genin finally walk on the pond.

She had done that!

The adorable genin had finally learned how to water walking!

Izuna was this close to cry.

Perhaps he could keep them.

Three cute and little genins who watched at him awed and hopeful!

Actually, they kind of looked like oversized kittens.

Maybe small ducklings.

Yeah, more like ducklings.

Oh, he would surely keep them!

He would treat them some dango after training!

The boy fell in the pond and came out spluttering.

Yeah.

He definitely looked like an oversized half-drowned duckling.

Izuna already loved them all!

-

“Madara.”

“Mh.”

“I want some hot cocoa.”

“It’s hotter than fucking hell outside, Hashirama.”

“I still want some hot cocoa.”

“Ok.”

“Madara, wait!”

“What.”

“I changed my mind.”

“What?”

“I want chopped fresh fruits and melted chocolate.”

“Hashirama.”

“And iced yogurt.”

“Hashirama.”

“And stuffed tomatoes. And grilled fish. And something else.”

“Something else what.”

“I don’t know yet.”

“What?”

“I’ll know when I’ll see it.”

“Stupid Senju.”

“You said something, Madara?”

“No.”

-

Madara stared.

His little brother was still smiling hopefully.

Madara hated that look.

He always said yes when Izuna looked at him that way.

“Please, nii-san!”

Madara frowned.

His little brother clasped his hand in front of his chest.

His eyes pleading.

And bigger than ever.

Madara hated him.

Madara grunted in approval.

Defeated.

Izuna cheered.

Madara Uchiha his ass.

-

How come Tobirama was always thrown in the middle of whatever his soulmate was planning?

And they were planning a…

What were they planning, exactly?

Tobirama bounced his little shrimp in his lap and asked again “What is it that we are planning, again?”

“Hashirama’s baby shower! It will be awesome! Just you wait!”

What in the world was a baby shower?!

His adorable shrimp blinked up at him, confused.

Tobirama shook his head.

-

Izuna glanced at the clipboard in his hand.

He tapped the pen against his lips, considering.

His little frog, strapped on his back, waved his arms and legs and Izuna bounced lightly.

Izuna stared at his three little ducklings, sitting patiently at his feet.

Something was missing in his planning.

That simply couldn’t do.

That was a no no.

No, really, that simply could not do.

Izuna needed new ideas.

With the three genins tumbling behind him like the three little duckling they actually were, Izuna stalked towards the Yamanaka’s flower shop.

The Yamanakas would love to help him!

-

Hashirama stared at her baby brother with a raised eyebrow.

Tobirama shifted from foot to foot.

And Hashirama kept staring calmly.

Her baby brother glanced at his own feet.

Then rubbed the back of his neck.

Clearly uncomfortable.

Hashirama started drawing circles on her belly.

Tobirama coughed.

Twice.

Hashirama sighed.

“Otouto.”

Her baby brother nodded and his cheeks reddened even more.

“Whatever it is that Izuna wants you to ask me can’t be more embarrassing than that one time I walked in on you when you were fifteen.”

Her baby brother’s face went completely red before he choked on thin air.

Tobirama teleported away and Hashirama burst out laughing.

It was so easy to embarrass her baby brother!

-

Madara had been coaxed into planning whatever his little brother was planning.

He glared at the Ino-Shika-Cho trio and then at his little brother for good measure.

Izuna quipped happily “We’re just waiting for a couple more people!”

Madara crossed his arms over his chest.

Six people appeared with six different puffs of smoke in the training ground.

The jerk had teleported his little brother’s three ducklings, too.

Representatives of all the other clans were there.

For helping them with Hashirama’s surprise baby shower.

What even was a baby shower?!

Madara groaned.

-

“Ok my adorable little shrimp. We can do this.”

His son giggled and kicked his legs.

Tobirama took a deep breath and walked into his sister’s living room.

Hashirama was doing yoga and Tobirama promptly teleported back to his own house.

He would not be tricked into joining her once more!

-

“Your dad is a pussycat.”

“Dad. Dad. Dad!”

“Yeah, my little frog. But still.”

“Cat! Dad cat!”

Izuna run a hand in his little frog’s spiky hair and kept walking towards his sister-in-law’s house.

It was a great idea and a great gift.

Izuna couldn’t understand why his soulmate was embarrassed to ask something so simple to his own sister!

It was just a belly cast!

It wasn’t like Hashirama would be naked.

Only her belly!

-

Hashirama smiled and nodded, thrilled at the idea.

“So this was what Tobirama was supposed to ask me?”

Izuna sighed and little Jiraiya-chan bubbled incoherently but happily.

“You want to do this now?”

Izuna beamed nodding and Hashirama started undressing.

She was down to only her panties when Izuna yelped a strangled “What are you doing?!”

Hashirama stared confused.

“I thought you wanted to do this now.”

Izuna had already covered both his eyes with his hands and then squealed “But why are you naked Hashirama?!”

Hashirama really was missing something here.

“How are you supposed to do the cast if I’m dressed? You’re a ninja. You’ve already seen a naked woman.”

“Not my Hokage, no! My sister-in-law! My brother’s soulmate! My soulmate’s sister! No! Oh Kami!”

Hashirama watched stunned as Izuna fainted.

She let him drop in a heap of limbs and black hair on her living room’s floor.

Little Jiraiya-chan crawled towards her and used her legs as leverage to stand.

Then he wobbly took two steps towards his Papa.

When little Jiraiya-chan flopped on his diaper-covered butt Hashirama cooed softly “Aren’t you a little shit? Exactly when your Papa is out cold.”

Little Jiraiya-chan giggled happily.

Hashirama smiled and sighed all at once, put on a short yukata and sent one of her AMBU detail to fetch her baby brother and her soulmate.

She took little Jiraiya-chan’s hands in hers and helped him walk across the room and around his Papa.

Izuna was still out cold.

-

Madara burst through the, thankfully open otherwise Hashirama would give him an earful afterwards, windows of their living room ready for a battle.

The jerk hot on his heels.

Madara would never say he was grateful for the jerk’s presence but.

Well.

Having the jerk by his side in a battle for protecting Hashirama was convenient.

The jerk would do absolutely everything for his sister.

So Madara was not displeased by the jerk’s presence.

That was it. He wasn’t displeased.

Madara took in the scene unfolding in his living room.

He was expecting at least some missing-nins.

Flying kunais.

Blood.

Enemies torn to pieces.

Jutsus being thrown across the room.

Hashirama taken hostage and threatened.

The AMBU dead or battling.

Clearly not what was happening in his living room.

The house was quiet and peaceful.

Only the pipsqueak’s occasional giggles.

Izuna was on the floor.

Wait.

Was his little brother dead? No. He was fine. Just kind of blacked out.

Madara dismissed him entirely.

Hashirama was half-naked and bowed around her belly.

She was smiling at the pipsqueak.

The baby-nin was giggling and kinda walking helped by his soulmate.

Madara crocked his head to one side.

Hashirama was fine.

Madara crossed his arms over his chest and flopped down on his couch.

Scowling.

Madara wasn’t pouting.

-

Tobirama took in his sister and his little shrimp.

Then he glanced at his soulmate’s form on the floor.

He squatted down beside Izuna and checked his pulse.

Izuna made a soft noise and Tobirama petted his head.

His little shrimp giggled and made a grabbing motion towards him.

Tobirama smiled and extended his arms.

His adorable shrimp, helped by his nee-chan, took a couple of steps towards him and then fell on top of his soulmate.

His little shrimp giggled delighted and Tobirama smiled down at him.

Izuna opened his eyes and stared at their son.

His shrimp smiled at petted his Papa cheek.

Tobirama stared in wander.

And whispered awed “He just walked.”

-

Izuna stared at his soulmate.

He could feel his eyes already filling with tears.

Izuna glanced at his little frog on his chest.

His son petted his cheek once more.

Izuna let a small sob loose and stared at Tobirama through tears-filled eyes.

“I missed him walking for the first time?”

Izuna felt empty and heartbroken.

He couldn’t believe something like this happened to him.

Again.

Why did things like this keep happening to him?

Why?!

Izuna rubbed his forearm under his runny nose.

Tears running down his cheeks.

His little frog had walked for the first time.

And he had missed it.

He had missed another one of his little frog firsts.

He was an horrible Papa.

An horrible, horrible Papa!

Izuna sobbed louder and his soulmate petted his hair.

Izuna cradled his little frog in arms.

And sobbed in his spiky hair while he snuggled closer making small satisfied little noises.

Why did he keep missing everything?!

-

Hashirama glanced from the scroll on her desk to the Aburame in front of her.

Aburames were a bit unnerving.

Hashirama smiled calmly all the same.

The Aburame said “We need to request training ground number six. Why? Because it’s perfect for our needs.”

Hashirama nodded and stamped her approval on the request scroll.

She smiled as politely as she could muster when the Aburame’s bugs took the scroll.

The Aburame took their leaves and Hashirama let a full body shiver loose.

“Bugs make me all itchy.”

She whispered to her belly before resuming her previous work.

-

Madara glared at the instructions.

He was a great shinobi.

This stupid thing would not defeat him.

Madara activated his sharingan.

The instructions remained a mess of incomprehensible drawings and words.

Madara would do without.

Assembling a crib could not be that difficult.

The jerk had done that.

Madara could do that, too.

He stared at all the pieces scattered on the floor.

Madara stalked out of the room.

He needed a drink to defeat this enemy.

Grown ass ninja. 

-

Tobirama raised one of his eyebrow.

He stared at Madara.

Beyond buzzed.

And cursing at the wooden pieces of a clearly not yet assembled crib.

Tobirama sighed.

His nee-chan would kill him this time.

He needed some help.

-

Izuna beamed at his three little ducklings.

They nodded eagerly.

Then they set to work along the other genin teams.

Training ground six was slowly coming to life.

Hashirama’s baby shower would surely be a success!

Izuna was so excited!

-

Hashirama opened her front door and stopped.

An Inuzuka was passed out in the genkan.

An Hatake was drooling across her back.

Hashirama stepped over them.

In the kitchen an Akimichi was sitting in front of the open door of her fridge.

He was holding one of her ‘dinner’ scrolls.

A pile of empty ‘dessert’ and ‘snacks’ scrolls by his side.

A long line of Aburame’s bugs scampered along the kitchen windowsill.

The Aburame was standing in a corner of the room.

In the living room a Nara was passed out half inside the room and half outside on the porch.

His head cushioned by a Yamanaka.

The Yamanaka was braiding the Nara’s hair and giggling all the while.

Her baby brother was pouting, arms crossed over his chest and staring at something on the floor.

A Sarutobi was trying to lighten his smoke.

And failing miserably.

So her soulmate used a katon to help him.

From the bathroom emerged an half-naked Hyuga.

The Hyuga activated his byakugan and stared at her.

Horror dawned on his face.

“Oh shit. The Hokage caught us.”

He tried to bow but tripped on his own feet and landed on top of Madara and Tobirama.

Everyone turned to look at her; some in surprise some in horror.

The Inuzuka and Hatake in the genkan snored loudly.

Madara grunted and turned to stare at her, too.

Hashirama stared back.

Every single one of them was drunk off their asses.

Except for the Aburame.

Her soulmate beamed.

Then he declared happily “Baby! You’re home!”

Hashirama turned around and walked away.

She couldn’t handle something like this.

She was not payed enough for handling something like this.

Respectable clans’ leaders and grown ass ninjas her ass!

-

Madara grunted waking up.

Two bodies pressed against his.

The Hyuga cuddled closer to his side, still asleep.

The jerk was drooling on his shoulder.

There was the smell of smoke.

Madara turned his head and everything started to swirl.

Madara closed his eyes and grunted.

When he opened his eyes again his gaze landed on the heap of wooden stuff.

The still unassembled crib.

Madara groaned.

Grown ass ninja his ass.

-

Tobirama was dying.

He run a strangely too heavy hand down his face and removed the drool on his lips.

One of his little shrimp’s plushie had to have come dying in his mouth because his mouth felt awful.

Tobirama squirted open his eyes.

Izuna was staring down at him.

Clearly unimpressed.

Tobirama was dead.

So he whined pitifully.

-

Izuna stared unsympathetic at the poor excuses of ninjas scattered hungover in his brother’s living room.

And kitchen.

And genkan.

And bathroom.

His soulmate whined.

Izuna ignored him.

Izuna casted a suiton on every shinobi in the house.

A cold suiton.

A freezing cold suiton.

They woke up immediately.

Izuna hired them all to help in training ground six.

Not before they had fixed the mess they had made.

Izuna would show them what a great shinobi was made of!

-

Hashirama opened her front door.

She took a careful sniff.

The air was fresh.

No smell of alcohol. Or vomit.

No one was passed out in the genkan.

The kitchen was empty and clean.

There was even a bowl of fresh fruit on the counter.

The living room was sparkling and a fresh bouquet of flower stood proudly in the center of the coffee table.

The scent was delightful.

Hashirama pattered in the bathroom.

Clean and organized.

The stain in the corner of the ceiling had been covered, too.

Hashirama hummed contently.

She entered their bedroom and stopped.

At the feet of their bed there was a wooden crib.

Pale green sheets and a cute little carousel was hung above the tiny bed.

There were ten small plushie on the carousel, swinging softly in the breeze coming from the open window.

Nine were bijuu.

The tiny, cute, baby version of the bijuu.

And the tenth was Konoha’s symbol.

Hashirama smiled softly and wiped away a stray tear.

Everything was perfect.

-

Madara approached his home carefully.

He wasn’t fearing his wife’s reaction, per se.

He was a great shinobi.

And great shinobi weren’t afraid of their spouses.

But he was Madara Uchiha.

And Madara Uchiha was an honest man.

He knew he had fucked up.

Badly.

And his wife was the Hokage.

She was a bit scary when angry, truthfully.

He landed on one of the living room’s windowsill wary of the possibility of being sent in the doghouse.

Hashirama was asleep on the couch.

Madara scooped her up and carried her to bed before settling against her back.

He glared at the crib and whispered “It’s all you fault.”

“I love it. Thank you, Madara.”

He didn’t turn to look at his soulmate but grunted in acknowledgment, at least.

Hashirama kissed the back of his hand before going back to sleep.

Madara caressed her belly and kissed her under the ear still glaring grumpily at the cursed evil thing.

-

Tobirama turned on his back and stared at the ceiling.

He crossed his arms over his chest.

Then fluffed the pillow under his head.

Tobirama sighed and get up.

The couch creaked slightly.

Tobirama pattered silently towards their bedroom.

Izuna was sleeping curled around their son.

His little shrimp was lying on his belly and sucking on the red pacifier.

Tobirama sat on the floor beside them and run his fingers through his soulmate’s long loose hair.

He sighed wistfully.

-

Izuna opened his eyes.

He smiled softly.

How cute was Tobirama?

His soulmate was sleeping sitting on the floor with his head on the bed.

One hand over their son’s back and the other around a strand of his hair.

Izuna was so in love.

Izuna caressed his soulmate’s fluffy hair and cheek and Tobirama blinked up at him.

Izuna tugged his sleeve urging him to join them in bed.

Tobirama complied immediately.

When his soulmate’s arms found their place around him Izuna went back to sleep.

He was still smiling.

-

Hashirama rolled on her back.

And realized her mistake.

Hashirama sighed.

She was huge.

Her belly was huge.

She would never be able to sit up again from her new position.

She was ready to deliver this baby and get back into shape.

As soon as possible!

Hashirama whined at her own condition.

She gestured for one of her AMBU.

The AMBU helped her to sit up and Hashirama smiled grateful.

She got on her feet, that she couldn’t even see, and got dressed.

Time to head to the office.

Slowly.

Very slowly because she couldn’t see her feet.

Hashirama pouted.

-

Madara tied the umpteenth balloon where his little brother had told him to and turned around.

Izuna gave him a thumb up.

Madara scowled.

At least he didn’t have the task to arrange nicely, as his little brother has demanded, the tower of disposable glasses and jugs of cool drinks the Akimichis had brought.

Izuna glared at him and Madara resumed his task reaching for another awfully bright balloon.

Madara scowled harder.

-

Tobirama glanced at the tower of gifts.

It was becoming taller and taller by the second.

And people were still coming.

Genins were running back and forth bringing everything Izuna asked for and straightening things under the big white gazebo in the center of training ground six.

Tobirama smiled and thanked the Hatake when she handled him another big wrapped box.

Then waited until she finished cooing over the little shrimp in his arms.

He glared at the Sarutobi and gestured for him to go smoking outside the gazebo.

The man grumbled but didn’t complain.

Izuna approached him and Tobirama sagged in relief.

“Go fetch Hashirama.”

Tobirama had never teleported faster.

-

Izuna beamed.

He was so proud of himself.

He was so proud of his village!

Everyone had given their contribution!

This was the spirit of the Village hidden in the Leaf!

This was Konoha!

Izuna could start crying from the sheer happiness and joy he was feeling.

Izuna turned sharply and glared at the Nara that had clumsily bumped against the drinks’ table.

The girl hurriedly fixed everything before walking away with a cool drink in her hand.

Oh!

Everything was just perfect!

-

Hashirama accepted the cold milkshake her baby brother had brought her with a smile.

She looped her left arm with Tobirama’s right one when he offered her and smiled down at little Jiraiya-chan strapped across her baby brother’s chest in his blue baby carrier.

Little Jiraiya-chan babbled incoherently up at her and Hashirama smiled caressing her belly.

A small cramp had her rubbing harder the spot.

Tobirama guided her towards training ground six and Hashirama was met with a big party of friends.

Hashirama beamed.

-

Madara was nursing his cool drink standing at his soulmate’s side.

He was trying not to glare at the awful lot of happy people who still approached them.

Everyone was chatting happily.

And drinking happily.

And eating happily.

And smiling happily.

There was so much happily going on that Madara simply stood there.

And accepted all the happily things people were doing.

Hashirama furrowed her brows and rubbed her belly.

Then she smiled happily.

Madara scowled at his empty drink.

-

Tobirama flopped down on a chair and bounced his little shrimp on his lap.

His son laughed delighted and watched all the people gathered under the gazebo in awe.

His soulmate approached them with a drink in each hand and smiling.

Tobirama smiled back.

His little shrimp squirmed, extended his arms in a grabbing motion and squeaked happily “Papa!”

Tobirama beamed at his soulmate.

And Izuna let the drinks fall on the ground.

-

Izuna stared at his little frog.

Then he started crying.

And smiling brightly at the same time.

He couldn’t believe something like this finally happened to him!

The first time his little frog called him Papa!

And he had finally been able to witness that!

Izuna cradled his son to his chest and smiled proudly and happier than ever.

He felt Tobirama hugging them both and glanced up at his soulmate.

He was an happy Papa!

Izuna kissed Tobirama soundly on the lips still smiling like an idiot.

-

Hashirama had finally been able to sit on a very comfy and soft armchair.

She relaxed and munched slowly on a small piece of fruit.

Everyone was enjoying the party and Hashirama was happy.

Even if the baby was feistier than ever.

Apparently the baby was enjoying the party, too.

Hashirama rubber her belly and smiled.

She glanced up at Madara, refilling their drinks.

Then promptly froze.

Her water had just broken.

That was why the baby was so feisty.

Hashirama called calmly “Madara.”

Her soulmate turned and waited.

She smiled and said “The baby is ready to meet you.”

“What.”

Hashirama sighed smiling “The baby is coming out right now, Madara.”

Every single head in training ground six turned to stare at her.

Hashirama smiled reassuringly.

-

Madara froze.

Baby.

What.

Coming out.

What?

Right now.

What?!

Madara stared at his soulmate.

The world tilted strangely.

And Madara got to know the hard ground quite intimately.

**Author's Note:**

> PS: I apologize for eventual mistakes, please point them out and I’ll try to correct them.   
> #NoBetaWeDieLikeShinobi
> 
> -Hh


End file.
